SHORT STORY;
~Sarah Doreen Mendivil
~Jezabell<3
The pain is so intence that after hours of crying I feel numb.
With dried tears on my cheeks, chin, neck, and hands, I stare at the wall wondering what I did to deserve such an unruley punishment as this.
I lay there, with not even a picture of her.
Knowing that she has the exact name that I've always dreamed of my daughter Having.
And now he wont even allow me one picture.
Not one.
So I lay there.
Hours pass.
I try and build myself up to text him and ask to see her.
Knowing he will dangle her in my face then take her away, I decide it is best to keep to myself.
The pain of not having her in my life is so intence that I literally feel physical pain.
I know I should be fighting for her.
But I cant stand to be hurt.
Although it hurts to not fight for her either.
There is no winning in this situation.
I'm at a loss.
I'm at the lowest point in my life.
Where do I go from here?
Where do I turn?
I jump up in a frantic search for something unknown.
I dig through boxes, drawers, baskets.
And finally.
I pull out what appears to be a lightly used Bible, but when i open it, it seems to of been neglected, and abused.
The pages wrinkled, torn, and tattered.
I sit on my bed cross legged.
I flip through it what seems to be fifty times.
Before I stop so suddenly even I need a moment to catch my breath.
I gasp with what little energy I have left and begin to read.
As I read I fall back, legs extended.
I hold the Bible against my chest.
I begin to scream.
Tears pour down my face soaking my hair and bed.
"Give me the knowledge that I so desparately need!".
"Are you there?!!?!!".
"Please answer me!".
Everything goes quiet.
I feel a rush go through my body.
A brief feeling of peace.
Then the phone rings.
His friend, Skyler has texted me.
"You caused her to be taken away".
"You are no good".
I cry out.
"Why me?!?!?!!!!!".
He doesnt even know.
He was told half the story, the blanks filled by lies.
Now I'm the bad guy.
But it seems I'm the only one crying while the rest are laughing.
I think to myself, "why am I always the prime target in situations?"
I lay back onto my bed and curl my body into a ball.
As I lay there all that is running through my head is...
"Jezabell Lacy LeAndria Lee Mary Doreen Martinez Mendivil".
Over and over I hear her name.
I tear up.
Clench my fists.
Jump up out of bed a say with much athority, "I will NOT let what happened control my life!"
Days, weeks, even months go by.
I've kept to my word, I've been staying strong.
I still think of Jezabell every single day.
I've forgiven Anthony for what he did.
Surely it seems impossible.
It is not impossible yet it is very painful.
I'm maturing and moving on, but never will I ever move on from my daughter.
Day turns to night and as I lay in my bed with the television on to the gospel channel with hopes that I'll receive an encouraging message, I notice that a man is on TV.
As always somebody claiming to be the man/woman of Christ.
He says he has the power to heal all brokeness, hurt, and emptyness.
I lay in my bed.
I've tried religion before but am too selfish of a person to surrender to God and give up sinning.
I continue to stare blankly at the tevelvision and soak up the words of the man.
Peter Popoff his name.
And before I can take another breath I break out in tears.
I feel a sudden rush go through my body.
The Holy Ghost? Many would ask.
I spring up quickly, grab my cell phone, and call the 1(800) number on the screen.
You might say I was desparate for answers.
I felt in that very moment that I had found the answers.
I order his Miracle Spring Water, what is known to heal.
I hang up the phone, fall to my knees and cry out to Jesus to help heal me of my brokeness, pain, and emptyness.
And as before I wait.
I receive a package and use as is instructed the Miracle Spring Water.
Not even a week goes by.
Anthony texts me.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes", I reply. "Why?"
He writes back, "I still care about you and dont want to see you hurt."
We talk for a while and eventually he agrees to try and set up a day for me to see my daughter.
I break down in tears.
I never thought I'd ever be given the chance to see my daughter.
I think to myself...
God brought her back to me.
And once again I fall to my knees and pray...
I thank the Lord that he has brought me back into contact with my baby.
